Healthcare Hacks: Patient Belongings Bags

Updated with photos: FINALLY

Prior to my rather sedentary existence in recent years, I was somewhat of a wandering nomad. Never really caring to stay put, accrue things like furniture, or live anywhere more than 6 months to a year. Travel and adventure was kinda my vibe, thus I am very very good at packing. Coincidentally I am also very good at Tetris and overloading the dishwasher. Today, I bring you the first of a series I’m calling “Healthcare Hacks” because alliteration makes everything more fun ok? Ok.

Just a heavily filtered snap from your author, contemplating just how much time I spend on GW’s Health Campus

So last week I go in for the fourth time to the outpatient surgery center to finish a treatment being done on my cervical spine. The nurse gives me my gown and shit and leaves me to get situated, which takes all of 30 seconds given everything I’m wearing is stretchy. The nurse, impressed by my speed, remarks that I must be experienced. Not sure if she meant in undressing in general or in a hospital setting, let’s hope the latter…although if we’re being honest here I am a speedy stripper, anything to get me into my jammies faster, am I right? So after a potentially offensive stripping remark the nurse takes notice of my belongings bag, which is placed neatly at the foot of the bed. I WISH I had visual aids but inside are my clothes of course folded, then inside their own bag within the larger bag are my shoes, virtually heremeticly sealed apart from my cozy clothes.

**UPDATE: Finally have pics for ya, enjoy this groundbreaking discover

This my friends the nurse thought was a true stroke of genius. Never before seen groundbreaking stuff for this woman, who just loved my somewhat obsessive attention to detail when it comes to packing…even in pre-op. I was both honored and also like, woah I’m here too much. You may be thinking, why are you even writing a whole post about this. Well fuck that attitude, because any little thing that can improve a trip to the ER or the surgery center or wherever matters. It felt so nice knowing my shoes were sealed in their own belongings bag and safely tucked in with the rest of my stuff in one bag. You know why? Because it’s one less thing to lose, or get caught in the bed, or fall off. (Last time they dropped my water bottle and broke it, I’m still pissed but trying not to hold a grudge. It wasn’t in a bag so shared culpability? Perhaps).

Can you guys tell my brain fog has been bad lately? Struggling to write in complete sentences. But alas: In summary the key to personal belongings packing is: The Bag within a Bag Method , keeps everything in one place and prevents cross contamination of clothes and foot stink. Hooray!

Again I am so terribly sorry there are no visual aids, I’ll snap some for next time!


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